a turning point

Once upon a time, Regi Wooten taught a boy how to play the guitar. By the time the boy was 17, he was playing on some sessions for his dad, who did the music for commercials. At one of the sessions, Regi showed up. The boy was suddenly very self conscious and put his guitar down.

Why did you put your guitar down? Regi asked.
I'm embarrassed, the boy said.
Why are you embarrassed? Regi asked.
You're my teacher. I'm not as good as you are, the boy said.

Do you have a fingerprint? Regi asked.
Yes, sir, the boy replied.
Is your fingerprint like anyone else's fingerprint in this entire world? Regi asked.
No, sir, the boy said.
There is no way that I can do what you do, like you do it, said Regi.

Musical fingerprints.

The boy's dad, who told us this story, yesterday evening, said, "Why didn't somebody tell me that when I was 17?? I've spent years being not as good as everyone else, and being self conscious, and working my butt off."

I feel like the boy's dad. A lot. This story was really encouraging to me, because so much of my life and my career is governed by me comparing myself to everyone else. Not practicing because I will never be as cool as Yo Yo Ma. Not being able to play the violins at the shop in front of the other people that work there, because they are more experienced than me. I know how the boy feels, with REGI WOOTEN at his session. If Ms Small showed up to a session I was playing on, I would be intimidated.

But - is anyone ashamed of his fingerprints? Should a person be intimidated about their fingerprint next to someone elses, just because the someone else's is a bit older and has been through more?

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So anyway. Today I am deciding what to do with my life. I have to figure out if I'm gonna graduate early, or graduate on time, or graduate on time working my butt off to get a minor. Those are the three options. The fourth option, dropping out, has sounded mighty good lately, but I don't want to have wasted all this money we've spent on it so far. Besides, no one takes you seriously if you don't have a degree.

So I'm going to talk to some high up people and see about graduating next fall.

But graduating? Seems like I've been working towards it so long, I barely even want to graduate. And everyone who does graduate says that college was much better, and that we don't know what we're getting into.

Dustin asked me what I wanted to do upon graduating, and I didnt have an answer for him. I couldve said, work in your shop! (....for 8 bucks an hour? less than 20 hours a week?) Teach private lessons. (to who?)

So pretty much I need to start building a studio. and maybe get another job. Ha. I dont know. I'll keep you updated.

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Edit:
I am graduating Fall '09.