i will be 21 in 21 days

I don't really have much to say - it's been a weird week.

First, I've been weirdly sick, and I am pretty sure it is because of the bipolar weather. I haven't been sick so much as just very much under the weather. Every day I feel like I have a fever, and I get creaky.

Second, I have realized that my pet peeves are directly connected to T's actions. Latest peeve: Using a drinking glass as a cereal bowl, and then leaving it half full in the sink to dry out so that the corn flakes are cemented to the sides of the glass. So that when we TRY to wash it, its impossible, because of the cementflakes on the insides of the glass.

Third, Everyone has been telling me to be more confidant lately. Usually if more than one person tells me something, I take it more seriously than if just one person says it. And in the last two days, two different teachers have told me.
I wonder if this is a "now" thing, if I have been having an insecure week, so I need to stop having an insecure week, or I wonder if this is a "in general" thing, where I really just need to stop thinking that I suck at everything, and maybe I just need to get my butt in gear and get my some self esteem!

Fourth, I've been pessimistic lately about the state of the world, actually both pessimistic and apathetic.

Fifth, I've had the (inexplicable..) urge to go to california and lay in the sand with a glass of wine and listen to a guitarist. and talk, and talk, and talk, and then sit in silence.

i'm bored with war and songs
i've been bitter far too long
come on prove me long
and tell me i'm no loner
and tell me i'm not crazy
well maybe just a little bit
maybe just a little bit crazy
but mostly prove me wrong

i'm in love...

with an apartment.

i hope the landlady picks me over the other applicant.

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This is the bruise I got on my way to coffee yesterday. So worth it.